Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
