I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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