You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Vodka?
Forever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
