is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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