she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Randomize
