Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
