I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
tonight lets celebrate not being married
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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