Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
