Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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