So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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