Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
