She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
