My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
