You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
