That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Text me some of your sweat
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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