arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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