I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize