i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize