You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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