I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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