Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
