party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
