I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
