Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
do herpes really smell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
