I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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