she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
