If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
