The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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