from now on my penis is your penis
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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