Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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