Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
