lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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