The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
