okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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