I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drunk is not a location!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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