Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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