yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
