I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize