Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
