I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
