I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
