she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She's the barista slut.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
