zippers are such a cool invention
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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