These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
third nipple confirmed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
