5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
