So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
