Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
