We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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