So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
