Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How's work?
Spinning.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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