My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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