Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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