so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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