All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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