): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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