I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
