YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
