Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
