so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize