Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
