Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
