I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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