The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
